We see so many examples of people in the Bible who had great faith. People like Abraham who was willing to sacrifice his son, whom he waited years for, or like Daniel who was willing to go into the lion's den. And please don't get me wrong here, faith like that is beautiful and necessary. But today, I want to encourage those who feel like they have weak faith. Those who feel like they are barely holding on and who are down on themselves because they think their faith is not good enough. I want to talk to those people. Because those people are fighting for their faith and it's a beautiful thing.
I've had moments in this past year where I doubted God's promises, truth, and goodness because I couldn't see them. Many times I have found myself with tears in my eyes telling God things like, "I don't see your goodness here" or "I don't get it... Your word says this, but I'm not seeing that" or even, "I don't know how to believe for that." I felt like I didn't have faith because of the doubts I was experiencing, but the fact that I was bringing those things before God demonstrated faith. It shows that even amidst the difficulties of life and a lack of understanding, I still had a trust in God. I couldn't bring the unwavering confidence that many of us wish we could, but by God's grace I could bring something. It may be thought of as weak faith, but it was faith nonetheless. I brought God all I could, and that's all that was necessary in that moment.
Proverbs 3:5 tells us to trust God with our heart, and specifically mentions not relying on our own understanding. Situations are bound to happen where you don't mentally understand God's goodness through them. But, if you know God in your heart, you can rely on that trust rather than on your lack of understanding. Easier said than done, I know, but you are not alone in this fight. God says, "Do not fear for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10). Just keep holding on, just keep showing up, just keep believing God. He is faithful. He will give you the strength to keep going.
What is seen as weak faith, I believe, is actually a sign of strength. Not because it is full of confidence, but because even without confidence, and even without making sense to our human understanding, it continues to fight to believe. It's easy to get down on one's self because you don't think your faith is strong enough, but the fact that you are fighting for it is something. When one of God's children come to Him in complete honesty trying so hard to hold on to faith and telling Him, "I don't understand, but I know You have to be good, help me to see it, help me to believe it," I think His fatherly heart responds with love. I think He responds with compassion, comfort, and help. There is no shame or condemnation in asking God for help. He is not mad at your weakness, but rather, His strength is made perfect in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). I think we can make the mistake believing that having faith means coming to God with it all together, when in reality, it means just coming to God because you trust Him. Faith is believing when you don't see. It's going against your own understanding of a situation saying, "God, I trust you." So fight the doubts, fight the fears, fight the feelings, but don't try and do it on your own, or by your own understanding. Do it by surrendering yourself to the goodness and faithfulness of God. Surrender your mind to a trust in Him, even against all understanding.
Sometimes faith doesn't look bold and strong. Sometimes it looks like a child of God on their knees with tears in their eyes crying out to their Heavenly Father. Faith isn't not having questions, its knowing Who to bring those questions to and trusting His answers, or a lack thereof. I have questions, big and hard ones (although not big and hard to God). And I don't have the answers to them right now, but I have brought them before God and so my job is not to figure it all out. It's to trust and obey Him in the process. To be willing to wait and not fully understand, but to still trust that He is good. To me, that is strong faith.
Faith is not what we want it to be; it is not a feeling, or an emotion. It's not a checklist or a task. Faith is believing even when you don't see. It's holding on even when you want to let go. Hebrews 11:1 says, "faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen." Faith is your proof. That means your circumstances are not your proof, your feelings are not your proof, and your surroundings are not your proof. I know we so badly want to see with our eyes the promises of God, especially when we are in a hard place, but sometimes we have to step out in trust even when we don't see it. Keep your assurance of God's goodness and faithfulness. He's never failed before and I can guarantee He won't start with you.
Keep holding onto faith, friend. I know it's hard, but I also know God is good. He is faithful and He will see you through.
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